• vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    10 months ago

    I used to live by that rule, but it turns not everyone likes to be treated the way I like to be treated. So now I just ask how they want to be treated.

    Just a trick I picked up from the BDSM subs ;)

    • thestereobus@lemmy.ml
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      10 months ago

      Exactly. I had to learn this too. I am unusual in a number of ways. When I treat people how I want to be treated I am often mistreating them and damaging the relationship. People are different and need different things. You have to communicate rather than unilaterally apply your self-empathy.

    • 0ops@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      Yeah, there’s a lot of things IDGAF about myself (like my birthdays, etc.) that make it easy to forget that for other people it means a lot. So even if I’m a cool acquaintance I’ll be a shitty friend :(. I’m working on that

  • cry@lemmy.ml
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    10 months ago

    This has been my number 1 rule since I learned I was being an arse.

  • Iapar@feddit.de
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    10 months ago

    Nope, because what you want might differ from what they want. So the rule is: treat people how they want to be treated.

    • cameron_vale@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      That’s a very large thing (the art of treating me well) to be conveyed via such a narrow channel (chitchat). Your best gauge of other people is yourself. And that works very well.