- Took a muscle relaxant I’m allergic against and nearly died on my bathroom floor while unable to call for help, face planted into the ground, sweating and tasting blood, at 3am about 5m away from my deep sleeping girlfriend.
- aqua planing with my motorcycle in a turn
- skidding on ice with my motorcycle
- wrapping my motorcycle around a tree
- getting under a semi truck with my motorcycle
- accidentally taking drugs which cause serotonin syndrome
- drowning in a wave pool because I slipped (clinically dead for about a minute)
- having a cramp at sea 500m from the shore
- hitting a tree on skis at night alone
- taking the wrong drugs, dissociating and waking up from the feeling of cold train tracks vibrating against my cheeks
- falling out of my bed 10cm from metal feet of my desk
Come to think of it, I really need to get a motorcycle again. That was fun.
Damn, how many lives do you have left?
Probably three more than @JoMiran according to his comment 😃
Posted this recently on a similar but different question, may as well include it here because it fits:
Exploring an easy cave with a friend. Nothing tricky at all, just one way through, standing room all the way, about 1m wide, ankle deep water flowing through the whole way (walking against the flow).
As we went, the water very slowly became harder to press forwards against. The change was so gradual we were second-guessing it the entire time until it got really strong. We figured it was better to walk against it than with it - at this point it was rushing against our legs, and the thought of slipping and being swept through, bouncing off of the walls, was not great. It felt much easier to keep our footing facing the flow, and also it seemed like we were much closer to the end than the beginning (the cave had an exit at both ends, it was basically a small fork of a river that cut through a hill).
So we pressed on, until we got to a point that should have been a small scramble up a few bits of rock - except now there was a massive flow of water hitting us at chest level as we tried to climb it. We were both completely unable to push against it and get up. We were also now convinced that the cave was filling up with water so we had to get out - which now meant turning around and doing the whole length again but with the water hitting the back of our legs the whole way.
Oh and the water was freezing, coming off of some snowy mountains. So for about an hour, we held onto the sides of the cave and slowly tried to move steadily through, while by this point I had almost no feeling in my frozen feet to help with keeping my footing. It was like guesswork every step.
By the time we got out, the water had risen by almost a metre I’d say. Not much but the extra force was insane, and the feeling of a cave filling up with water behind you was not easily ignored. Anyway, turns out there was heavy rainfall way up river from us, always check the forecast and think beyond where you are when dealing with rivers and caves!
- Almost got abducted by pedo but a cop rolled by
- Mom and I got rear ended by a dump truck that left us hospitalized for weeks
- Renal failure due to something wrong with my kidney (I was too young to understand what) but surgeons were able to fix it without removing kidney
- Almost drowned surfing…at least three times
- Hit and run when on my bicycle. That got me a nice new bike, which was nice.
- Near miss with a car while bombing a hill on my Powell Peralta skateboard. It should count as multiple because, in hindsight, bombing a hill that steep, that fast, on that board, with no gear or helmet, was in itself a near death experience every time.
- Near miss with a territorial tiger shark while surfing.
- Near miss with a territorial moray eel while scuba diving
- Wrecked my motorcycle
- Rode off a cliff while back country snowboarding…alone. Please don’t be this stupid. That was very dumb and 100% on me. Always bring a buddy. I should know better.
- Hit a hidden rock while snowboarding that caused me to whip the back of my head into the ground so hard that I almost passed out. When I checked my helmet I saw that my head must have landed on another hidden rock because there was a quarter sized hole where the rock had pierced. It was very likely a fatal hit had I not been wearing a helmet.
- Suffered from chronic and acute insomnia that almost drove me to suicide. Reality gets tilted when you don’t sleep at all.
- Felt not good. Went to the ER and was rushed to surgery. Turns out most of the arteries on my heart were blocked 93+%. One was 99% blocked. Ended up getting four stents but at least I dodged a bypass and a heart attack. Close though. Had I waited, maybe even a day, I would have had a massive heart attack. *Got cancer. Beat cancer. Fuck cancer.
EDIT: Reading someone else’s comment reminded me of a time when I was very young (5?) where we had an aquarium on top of a tall dresser. I opened the bottom drawer and climbed on the lip so that I can could see the fishies. The whole thing toppled over on me. The dresser landed on my lower body and the aquarium landed on me, shattering. I clearly remember my mom screaming in panic, my neighbors lifting the dresser off me, the terrazzo floor cover in bloody water and me yelling at the top of my lungs for someone to save the fish that was dying next to me. It didn’t make it. Oooh boy, there’s trauma there. That memory hit a nerve for some reason.
I can’t decide if you’re extremely lucky or extremely unlucky
Always wear a helmet, kids.
Why not both?
Wrecked my motorcycle
Absolute classic. Love those death machines.
I drive for my job, so like… daily. Lol. People do genuinely dangerously stupid things on the road and a lot just ignore it because of how dangerous driving already is. I think some of it can definitely be chalked up to honest mistakes but there have been many times I’ve seen a driver danger my own life, their own, or other people (or a combination of the three) out of what appeared to just be total and complete ignorance. I feel so incredibly lucky to have yet to be involved in a crash or to even witness one, but usually at least once a shift I do witness a close call that sometimes does involve me.
And I’m not much of an urban planner so I genuinely don’t know what I can contribute to fix this, but so much of it seems to be an insane impatience and a treatment of driving as some kind of race. I see people hourly roll through stop signs, speed through red lights, ignore right-of-way in roundabouts, shove themselves into lanes, cut people off, etc. When I’m driving in my city’s downtown I usually see drivers come within INCHES of pedestrians who are crossing the street just to get to the next red light 2 seconds faster. And people have this inherent obsession with speeding. It’s like some kind of cult. If you don’t speed they treat you like utter garbage. I’ve definitely driven on roads that felt 10 mph or 20 mph faster than the speed limit, but most of the time I feel like the speed limit like makes sense, you know? I speed due to the nature of my job (pizza delivery) but I usually only go 5 over at most. 9 times out of 10 though I get tailgated by some speed junkie who needs to go dangerously above the limit just to get to the red light 10 seconds faster.
And you know I’ve made mistakes too. I’m not perfect. I’ve rolled through stops, failed to signal, ran a few reds when I spaced out, etc. It’s just shocking on the daily to see sheer ignorance to the rules of the road. At this point I’m almost numb to it. Just the other day I was driving to a store on my off time and witnessed somebody come within inches of a head-on collision because they creeped into the intersection to make a left turn (this happens every time I drive). The near-victim of this insane stupidity had some really quick reactions otherwise with that speed they might have hit me too. All I was thinking was that I wish I had my dashcam plugged in.
TL:DR: I drive a lot for my job. I deliver pizza. I am constantly shocked by the sheer stupidity on the road and it’s probably from impatience and ignorance of speed limits. I witness people almost dying on a daily if not weekly basis. Just yesterday I almost got involved in a head-on collision by somebody who couldn’t be bothered to wait behind the painted white line at a left turn.
Cars are fucking deathtraps and a massive waste of public and private resources.
I’ve always been a proponent of cutting down their use. Also, more stringent licensing requirements until we invest in effective public transportation (which is a hard fight already as manufacturers and even police have interest in dangerous vehicles being sold to the public).
Also, why the fuck do we have so many gigantic trucks on the road for shipping? Invest in fucking rail freight.
And, on a personal note, my grandmother still has her license and there’s no fucking way that’s safe for anyone.
I agree with most everything you said. My store actually even allows us to use mopeds but man… not doing that with the way these roads are.
With the licenses, I actually kind of find it crazy how lax we are about them in the US. Like, I’m in Washington and we’re kind of known for having the hardest test in the country, and all I did was parallel park, park on a hill, back around a corner, and park in a parking bay. That’s it. And it’s so easy in fact that you can fail all four of these sections and still pass as long as you’re fine when driving to and from each section, with the way the points system is set up. You start at 100, each section is 5 points and you need 80 points left over to pass. Looking back on it now those things are definitely like some of my least worries on the road. It’s nice that I can parallel park, but I think it was much better that I learned lane changing, you know?
Exactly! When I took my test way back when, they didn’t even have me drive on a highway… Like, most of the crazy shit I see happens on or entering/exiting highways. I feel like mandating that in a test would keep a lot of people from danger.
And I get that people need to get to work and do errands, but the standard for getting a license is so low that their convenience comes at the expense of public safety and increased private costs, medical, legal, tickets to police vultures that just fund further oppression.
We treat driving as a necessity and cut all corners to keep selling environment destroying death traps to every member of the public. Driving is very convenient, but also inherently dangerous and the testing involved needs to accurately reflect the fatal consequences that occur wayyy too frequently.
Even if the consequences aren’t fatal, victims end up with significant injuries and even life changing disabilities. Then they’re compensated fucking pennies by greedy, profit pinching insurance companies and any actual burden for their treatment, rehabilitation, or stabilization is then borne by the victims and eventually the state.
It’s lazy, demented, and cruel, all the way around. I feel like states should have standing to fuck up auto manufacturers and insurance companies for the massive costs they shift over to the public, but we’ve never really had a justice system so that’s a ways away if it’s even possible.
As a MASSIVE fan of cars, there is literally no reason to have any cars in a city centre.
Wanna get to the other side of the city? Bus/team
Need private transport? Bike
Cars suck for city transport
Totally, I mean a lot of my gripe with cars is about how they’re currently used and their safety and environmental impact.
I recognize the need for low occupant vehicles, but definitely also see that we’ve blown past any reasonable projection of their use.
As far as cutting cars out of cities goes, it’s pretty important to cut commuter cars as well. Commuter trains are safer, way more easily regulated and keep cars out of the city.
I shed no tears for the owners of parking lots and ticket writers who would lose out with an increase in commuter trains. They bet on the continuation of inefficient forms of transportation and sought to capitalize on convenience, let 'em fail like commercial real estate and have the cities restructure their downtowns when the prices on those buildings plummet.
Dude no kidding, I drove for a living for a while and before I did I loved driving. Since then I get ridiculously anxious on the highways, I hate driving in the city and I even moved away partly to avoid the traffic.
Do you mean times in which I made a lucky mistake that avoided me running into a fatal issue, or times in which I was in a fatal issue that didn’t finish me off?
Yes
Most of them are dog attacks or almost-dog attacks. Nobody seems to know how to keep a dog on a leash. I was attacked by one while strolling and couldn’t escape and another time narrowly avoided another one. Me and dogs don’t seem to get along except for my own.
I was at a lagoon/pool trying to traverse across when something distracted me enough that I fell in the deep area and started drowning because I can’t swim. The person who should’ve helped was distracted and so a family member stepped in at the last minute. Same fate almost happened to me due to some very sinky mud.
I narrowly avoided being crushed under a burning foundation by not being around for a lot longer.
I was at a psych ward for reasons I would rather not mention here, and psych ward visitors have a tendency to do something hostile and end up getting a room faster. There was an uproar that broke out because one of the patients was the son of one of the nurses, and someone else felt jealous that a patient had come in with love and support built-in into the visit, and the jealous person started threatening people, and I guess I avoided that by not really minding I was being threatened, so he (the one threatening everyone) decided to assault me, in the NSFW way.
You should learn to swim eh? Or practice simply floating? Your body does that, no?🍸
I wish :(
It pretty much should…can you clarify why you don’t think thats the case for you if you lay on your back in the water?
I’m not sure, but I can’t say I haven’t tried what other people have to the same effect as them. I am not as immune to gravity I guess.
The fat in your body does tho, regardless of how skinny you are. Think about how people try to “bury” dead bodies in water and how they seem to float up at the worst times lol
Felt close to dying last year from covid + pneumonia (possibly comorbid RSV as well). Still not 100% over my long-covid symptoms.
I was shot at in the woods as a kid by an old man with a shotgun and a big greyhound. My niece and nephew were with me, and I literally drug them behind me as we ran back to our family’s camp site. Have no idea why he fired at us, but he most certainly did… I was so afraid he was going to release his dog… No way we would’ve gotten away from it. Our family didn’t believe us about this event until the 3 of us reminisced about it as young adults at Thanksgiving years later.
I also was chased by a farmer known for shooting trespassers with rock salt, when we snuck on his farm for shrooming. Some other highlights from that shrooming trip were almost stepping on a pygmie rattlesnake, and my brother getting stuck in quicksand and loosing his boot while we fled from the pursuing farmer thru the woods.
A buddy of mine and I were chased by a strange car for miles late at night. Should’ve called the police, but we were dumb teenagers. No idea what they wanted, but they pursued us for miles. We drove into a large neighborhood that was being developed, sped around the grid of empty streets with our lights off being chased by that car going crazy speeds on those residential streets, and we managed to slip out of the developing neighborhood and hid in a driveway on a side street until we saw the car go flying past looking for us. Still have no clue who that was or what their motivation/end goal was…
Had a close call with my wife and human traffickers… At least I’m 99% sure. I have had multiple training seminars from my former employer (mental health organization) due to the extremely elevated rate of human trafficking in this region and along Route 66 which pases thru. As a caseworker for the adult population, I worked with individuals who had been trafficked…
My wife is very petite and adorable, and was clearly being stalked and targeted by a man in Walmart while we were shopping one night. We were split up shopping, and apparently this man had been following my wife down every aisle, staring at her, and was coordinating with someone on the phone. This was unknown to me when I was heading to meet back up with my wife.
I finally spotted her down an aisle, but saw this guy peaking around the end of the aisle at my wife, who was the only person in that aisle… He was speaking quietly and I couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying, but it was clear he was staring at my wife and relaying information to someone on the phone.
I’m muscular and I don’t fuck around. I’m from Jersey and will admit I can be a bit of a hothead. I wanted to do more, but I walked right in front of this guy while he was staring at my wife down the aisle, postured up feet in front of him while giving him a deathstare until that bastard broke my stare, looking like he’d seen a ghost. I walked down the aisle towards my wife, turning back and maintaining eye-contact with the creep the whole time, especially as I put my arm around her.
I could tell I shook the guy, because he went out of his way to circle by my wife and I a few times with totally different body language, speaking in an entirely different cadence, volume, and tone. It was clear he was speaking loudly and in a manner aimed at us overhearing his now seemingly innocuous conversation. But it was clearly a rouse. He was stammering over his words all nervously and clearly wasn’t really asking the person on the phone about shopping items.
After I got back to my wife, she told me how this creep was following her down aisles for the last 15 minutes or more, staring at her while on the phone. Some people reading this may believe I jumped to conclusions, but this tripped human trafficking warning signs and sent alarm bells ringing in my gut. Better safe than sorry. Dude was a creek regardless.
I can’t think of any other close calls right now, but I know there’s other stories somewhere in my memory bank…
Bunch of failed suicides, an accident in a school swimming pool, and the time my neighbour accidentally diverted a fuck tonne of carbon monoxide fumes into my house. All the times I’ve been close to death don’t make for particularly interesting reading.
How about a brush with serious injury instead?
1st year of uni. I’m in the labs for the first time and I am hyped to do some microbiological analysis. We were given a bunch of techniques to try and I’d decided to start by doing gram staining and then observing a slide. Most of my class mates had less experience on the microscopes than me and I was feeling great about how quickly I’d calibrated everything. Cocky enough that I hadn’t noticed just how coated in immersion oil my gloves were, until my hand accidentally passed through a Bunsen burner and went up in flames.
Thankfully I’d picked a bench close to the sinks and was able to wrap some damp towels around the hand quickly to try to smother the flame before I got seriously burnt. But the scars on my hand are a reminder to me to be aware of my surroundings in the lab at all times.
Bunch of failed suicides
I sincerely hope your life is now better than it was before, and that your state of mental health is improved.
Thanks for the sympathy. I haven’t felt that bad for a couple of years by now.
:)
First one was right at my birth, as I came out feet first and was apparently almost strangled by the umbilical cord which was around my neck.
When I was about 5, a large wardrobe fell over and missed me by just a couple cm.
Most recent one was a few weeks ago when I was riding my bike. An oncoming BMW cut a corner and, as the road was inside a ravine, couldn’t see me and almost crashed into me.
When 5 people tried to steal my cellphone at night, luckily i was with 2 friends so they couldn’t steal anything, they still managed to leave some bruises in my face tho
Hiking mountain, misty/rainy midday. Summit didn’t look like a summit to me, and I’m not an experienced hiker. Had forgotten my hiking boots so was hiking in flat-bottom running shoes.
Arrive at summit, of course, want to walk to edge to enjoy my hard-earned view. Begin walking down incline to my “perceived summit” (mistakes intensify). Realize it sure is a steep path. Total path from arrival to “perceived summit” was ~10 meters. 5 meters from edge I slip, ow, that hurt. Oh, I’m sliding. Time ceases to exist, this all feels like forever. Quickly flatten body such that backpack grabs surface.
Where am I? How far did I slide? 2-3m, panic, I am more than halfway towards the edge in an ever increasing steepness summit. Everything is wet. I launch myself to my feet and rush away from the ledge, processing what just happened. Oh. I see.
Strangers freaked out, friends freaked out, everyone has adrenaline. Sit and consider what occurred, try to calm myself but the panic of existential dread was persistent for the next six hours or so.
Good hike.
A few years back I woke up with some minor pain in my pp, assuming it was just a UTI that’d pass on its own I let it go for around a week until it was unbearable, and I ended up leaking blood every time I went to pee. Finally went to the hospital and it turns out I had E. Coli in my weenie. The infection had spread to my bladder, and up into my ureter. Doc said if I’d let it go another day it would have hit my kidneys where it could have become a full blown systemic infection, which likely would have killed me.
If your bits hurt, go to the doctor.
The first time I got hit by a car as a child
Getting a crouton stuck in my windpipe. Your body can and will try to take over when life is on the line. Fortunately, I could still breathe a little and I had to wait for saliva to dissolve it. A scary 15 mins or so of small breathes.
I forget how old I was, but at some point as a kid I had this really big marble, and as dumb kids sometimes do, I kept sticking it in my mouth for no reason. Eventually I accidentally half-swallowed it and it was big enough to completely block my throat. I couldn’t breathe or make a sound, and I don’t think anyone else was even home at the time anyway. I legit thought I was gonna die, as much as I could process that as a kid, but I somehow managed to cough the marble up after a few seconds. I distinctly remember thinking to myself “okay don’t do that again,” and then absently sticking the marble back in mouth a minute later anyway.
Fiancee and I were hiking into and camping at a state park. We got a little turned around and low on water, so I was a bit out of it and tired. I saw an interesting looking log across the trail and stepped over the smaller end of it. It was around 9:30am, so things were a little cold. I stopped and turned to wait for my fiancee and right as she was about to step on the log I realized it was an enormous 6-ish foot long rattlesnake. I grabbed her arm right before she put her foot down on the bastard and yanked her as hard as I could and backed up a step or two. Somehow the snake hadn’t noticed me yet, but it noticed me wrenching my fiancee away from it and it went into full coil-up-and-rattle mode. Had that thing bitten me I would have been in a bad place because I was already dehydrated. If it had bitten my wife, both of us would have been in a bad place because we were closer to our destination with fresh water than to our car.
