This has been on my mind lately. My dad is going through it, his sister has got it pretty bad and I apparently have the predisposed gene to get in my future.

I’m leaning no because I wouldn’t want to make my child go through slowly watching their dad’s mind leave them and also potentially pass it on to them when they get older.

It’s thrown me for a loop since I always imagined myself having kids and I’m around that age now.

What do you think?

Edit: I just want to say that I did not expect the kind of response this post got. I’m grateful for all of your comments and the perspectives it’s allowed me to peak into.

I also should mention that were I to have children they would most certainly not be burdened by being the crutch of my own personal journey of accepting and loving who I am. That is work for me alone and I would never unload that responsibility onto those I love and especially those who I’d be raising.

As for my partner not wanting kids, I would never consider forcing or persuading them to raise a child when they know for certain it’s not in their cards. This is another element in how I’ve been navigating this question. I love her with everything I have and I can’t imagine us being apart and yet there is a pang that lingers of the father I assumed I would eventually become.

Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful replies. They’ve helped so much especially since this is the first time I’ve voiced these thoughts.

  • Dlayknee@lemmy.world
    0·
    1 year ago

    I lost my grandmother and dad to Alzheimer’s. I feel like it’s probably in my future, as well. It’s a miserable disease that makes me question a lot of end-care practices and my wife & I are absolutely going to have some strategies in place, but to answer your question we already have 3 beautiful children that I can’t imagine life without (pretty sure there’s an Alzheimer’s joke in there, somewhere). I certainly don’t want to put them through what I saw with my Dad, but I also wouldn’t want to have missed out on all the wonderful experiences I’ve had/will have with them on account of a “what if”.

    Ultimately, the choice is yours to make but you’re clearly putting a lot of worthwhile thought into it and I’m sure whatever you decide will be the best choice for you. I’m sorry about your dad & sister, and if you ever need someone to talk to I’m here.