Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a glare. If you have to work on the glare, go watch Clint Eastwood in The Outlaw Josie Wales.

Why does it sound like Mike Tyson answering the question “what is the smallest continent?”

So, you’re looking at this and it looks like normal chili. And you’re thinking chili with cheese and spaghetti, yeah I could go for that. Then you eat it, and some asshole put cinnamon in the chili instead of chili powder and cumin and you realize you have been duped into eating Christmas vomit with cheese and noodles.

That’s…that’s not what children of the corn is about.

Good toddler car seats have cup holders.

You’re not throwing them at your enemies hard enough.