Yo dawg! I heard you like ads. So we put ads in your ads

Fuck that guy! That guy is a real asshole! Ditch him!

You’re screwed, dude. That’s nothing you can easily fix. Most tips in this threat require you to do the whole room, as just fixing this one spot will most likely be pretty obvious.

Next time, try to use something broader and softer than a sheet of paper to dampen your couch’s feet - especially on wooden floor.

That’s the spirit!

👀

Signal

*limp penis

Wouldn’t have thought I’d comment that today.

Enjoy your hot pockets, fuckers.

Beautiful. Truly poetic.

Helldivers 2

Schrödingers car. It’s at the same time the best and worst car you ever owned

It’s the worst when you talk about a series you “acquired” and they ask you: “Cool! Where did you watch it? Is it on Netflix?”

Why not just get the newest one?

Pro tip: bookmark all these tricks /s

ARRRRR 🏴‍☠️

Thanoshaq

That movie is AMAZING! That’s always my go to “hidden gem” movie recommendation

Is this the one from 2009 with Sam Rockwell?

/s

That’s the only correct answer.

Thats a shame… I was planning to rewatch Zombieland and write down all the survival rules…

I’ve got you bro:
#1: Cardio - When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties.
#2: Double Tap - In those moments when you’re not sure the undead are really dead dead, don’t get all stingy with your bullets.
#3: Beware of Bathrooms - Don’t let them catch you with your pants down.
#4: Seatbelts - Fasten your seat belts. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.
#5: No Attachments
#7: Travel Light - And I don’t mean just luggage.
#9: With Your Bare Hands
#10: Don’t Swing Low
#11: Use Your Foot
#13: Shake It Off
#14: Always Carry a Change of Underwear
#16: Opportunity Knocks
#17: Don’t be a Hero - Why don’t you take this one?
#17: Be a Hero - Some rules are made to be broken. (Rule updated)
#18: Limber Up - Going down that hill, it is very important.
#19: Break It Up
#20: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint, Unless It’s a Sprint, then Sprint
#22: When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out
#23: Ziploc™ Bags - You got enough problems, moisture shouldn’t be one of them.
#24: Use Your Thumbs
#25: Shoot First
#26: A Little Sunscreen Never Hurt Anybody
#27: Incoming!
#28: Double-Knot Your Shoes
#30: Pack Your Stain Stick
#31: Check the Back Seat - No one back there but my duffel bag.
#32: Enjoy the Little Things - I hate to give credit to anyone who looks like Yosemite Sam, but I’m writing it down.
#42: Keep Your Hands to Yourself - It’s just polite.
#52: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help - Yeah and they ignored rule 52: don’t be afraid to ask for help.
#53: Wet Naps