I wish there was a filter to block any post with this asshat’s name in it.

Right. And since he was heading north but drifting south the effort failed. Were you schooled in Florida?

My fucking life with my wife and son. I honestly hope I get into a car accident with the steering column impaled in my chest so I can call them with my dying breaths to say I love them, only to have them not pick up because their ring is on mute. Then I’d come back as a total DICK of a ghost saying ‘See? I told you to turn your ring volume up!’

Lock them up! Lock them up! (In Arkham.)

The only thing I miss about FB was the Birthday reminders.

For me, the only feeling better than dumping Reddit a month or so ago has been when I ditched Facebook years ago.

“Yevgeny, It’s Vladimir! Hey, no hard feelings buddy! Why don’t you fly on over so we can put all of this behind us?”

Q: Why are the Pyramids in Egypt?

A: Because England couldn’t figure out a way to ship them to the British Museum.

Tourists: What about my Constitutional Rights! If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking German now!

“It’s called summer, libtards. There’s always mass die-offs of entire ecosystems in summer.”

We’re fucked.

And tastier…

(Professor Farnsworth Voice) Good News, Everyone! The planet is dying but here’s a happy little article about a parrot!

Fox Viewers: ‘Don’t get vaccinated because there are brain controlling microchips hidden in the jab.’ Also Fox Viewers: ‘I can’t wait to get one of Elon’s brain chips to own the libs!’

Homeowner-targeted inkjet printers are evil, especially from HP. NEVER buy one that works a subscription into the purchase. They are garbage, and can disable your cartridges if you cancel your subscription.