Oh, no, that’s too much. Being from the Chicago suburbs, between Menards and Empire Carpet (before their growth to add the -Today- addendum), there’s a deep groove upon my brain made by those jingles. That, and John Madden’s congested cadence for various advertisements. Simply John Maddening.

^…588-2300 --damn, it!

Save big money at Menards, but not on Menards…

^…save ^big ^money– Gaa! That jingle will never leave me. Damn you, midwest!

Search ammonia and sulfur smells in bowel movements, and see if any typical causes match your current dietary habits or medical status/medications including supplements. If they don’t, see a doctor, then get to a gastroenterologist, if you can. Maybe just do that, anyway. Regular checks, and digestive health are extremely important, regardless of weird poo and especially because of weird poo, no matter how uncomfortable, it’s more comfortable than the alternative. Source: life of intense health problems. Get your butthole checked. We believe in you.

Kyle Maclachlan is a got-dang national treasure. 🫡

Damn, that’s interesting! I’d think like any profession, some are just that good?

I’m a “better-safe-than-touch-up these fucking baseboards until I’m screaming” kinda person, so I’ll splurge my time on taping. I also tend to paint with strong-ass pigments, so I don’t wanna try to fix those blunders, haha. The previous owners of our home basically had the entire interior sprayed with matte ceiling paint over plaster when they moved out, so the kitchen, stairwell, and bathrooms are going to pros, especially so they can be done in succession. I just wanna be able to easily wash my flippin’ walls.

More power to you! I mean, I don’t tape outlets, just remove the covers, and be mindful of the plugs.But, my own house is riddled with crown moulding, including around the doorframes, which is very pretty and all, the contrasting white is lovely with painted walls, but DAMN if its jutting edges, corners, and curvy bits don’t sneak up on ya when you’re using a brush or a roller, no matter how carefully. So, for my clumsy bum, tape and more tape!

For reals, though - having painted several rooms–literally in the current process of painting another–you can use whatever “time saving” fucking scams tools are out there, but Frog Tape, friends! Tape, like you’re sealing a space station, and a little extra. Or just pay a professional to do it all properly, because it’s frankly a bitch, depending on your walls and layout.

Is this Welsh?

/s

Now, with Listeria! ™️ –for that sparkling fresh digestive tract!–

Did… Did the crocodiles make that sign?

I was reminded

Rich Evans, man. Sexy, talented, honey-voiced genius.

Muppets have always sadly given me the heebs, but this is a brand new appreciation! I’d love to see this done shot-for-shot, completely serious tone, but all within the Muppets theme. Of course, John Carpenter’s awesome score stays the same, but played with like, kazoos and jazzy casual instruments.

Regardless of reality, it’s gonna happen in my imagination, cause the world’s on fire.

I wonder how many of us instantly wrote bee-versions of the lyrics?

The saxophone solo is definitely now done by bees.

👏*-FAKE-IT-TILL-YOU-MAKE-IT!-*👏

…cries…

I have a lot of weird food habits thanks to years of eating disorders and just generally being a fucking weirdo, but lately I enjoy mixing a couple tablespoons of raw coconut flour with just enough sugar-free Torani s’mores flavored syrup to give it a cookie dough texture, and a bit of salt. It’s like a bowl of sugar cookie dough my delusional need to stay too-thin doesn’t feel terrible about, and since the artificial sugar and citric acid isn’t a great reaction with my meds, I only have it from time to time. 100% do(n’t) recommend!

I would like to subscribe to Skeleton Facts.