I remember doing that to read and write my answers in forums. Then someone had already posted the same comment or a better version.

Normal people talk things over? I would seriously believe that to be the farfetched scenario.

Beyond XX and XY: The Extraordinary Complexity of Sex Determination

Try this. Biological sex is more complex than what is usually taught in high school. And that’s only humans. There’s this system for instance: Temperature-dependent sex determination

Ethnic and exotic food suddenly sound like very strange terms. This question made me realize that people from outside would call the food of my country simply Brazilian food, but we ourselves divide and subdivided them in more categories. I’m sure the same is true everywhere.

I know this is not a question for discussion, but I thought this could add more variety to the answers.

That’s on me, I’m sorry. I realized the implications of my words, but failed to choose better ones. I have no problem with your style or tone. As I said, I feel your posts are personal and passionate.

Let’s try again. Context is important. I believe a lot in subjectivity, which can be confusing, others need facts and concrete examples, something I have learned to keep in mind when asked in the past. You tell me the best way to communicate with you.

You said I attacked you and that I want to fix your existence. Those are not facts. I offended you and I might have hurt you, these are facts and I won’t deny them, and I accept my responsibility for what I did.

You see, I suffer from anxiety and depression. After two months in therapy, I feel comfortable to once again engage in the community and take risks. I just wanted to help (which doesn’t excuse my mistakes), but reading this response would make me retreat again weeks ago. I would ask myself of I’m really this bad person you are interpreting me to be and if my contributions have any value, if I shouldn’t just let other people more prepared to deal with it. I was also hurt by what you said.

I’m a sensitive man, but my whole life people have called me robotic, unfeeling, reserved and the like. They didn’t agree with the way I lived my life and thought trying to change me was a kindness. They are wrong. I’ve seen so many people suffer because the world refuses to allow them space that I try to make sure I’m accommodating. I believe everyone should grow in life by learning how to express themselves in their own unique ways.

All this is me trying to reveal myself so I can be better understood. Because I think it’s important. Because I think this community is important. And because I think you are important too. I learned a little bit about you today. I have learned other bits before and imagine I’ll see more in the future. I asked some questions to help me with that as well, but you decide what you want to share.

Please, don’t feel like we are piling on you. I personally would say you came as a positive disruption, but making sure this is a safe space is a big priority and that means even discussions filled with good intentions have to be careful. You should check tildes for comparison.

Now about forums and chat rooms. Chat rooms never felt really personal to me, but I could never socialize with a lot of people at the same time well. Forums, 20 years ago, were a space I inhabited frequently. Deeper context for me was knowing who I was talking to because I had read their posts and comments in the past. We engaged ideas, but we considered people as well. Of course, not every discussion was the same, with some more abstract than others.

I have been seeing your posts for the past week. They feel very personal, but your approach feels detached, academic. Try being more conversational, asking questions and being interested. For instance: What brought you here? Why do you post? What do you expect to offer and get? Ideas, opinions, experiences? Educate people, get collaboration for your ideas, someone to challenge and strength them?

I truly believe our mods want to be accepting, but their role is also to maintain peace by guiding and reminding we all of our philosophy.

I’m not sure of I understand it correctly. Would pronouns in this case carry the same value as titles do, or terms of endearment? Maybe a mix of both. Titles have the explicit aspect, but terms of endearment inform the kind of relation we have in an informal situation.

The practical use still escapes my imagination. Would you talk more about that?

I understand the sentiment and the urge to clap back at these kind of non comments, but remember to be(e) nice. Specially to yourself. It’s not worth it to spend time and energy dealing with a troll comment.

My provider, small one from my town, or the attendant just decided to give me the password. After months, I found out how to extract the configurations and used my old router instead.

My comment is all context. The word is not the problem, it’s the way it’s being used.

Try it in terms of double standards. It’s an experiment that has been done. People see a man talking aggressively to a woman and some will intervene. People see a woman talking aggressively to a man and the number that intervenes drops significantly, some will cheer.

Or try it in terms of victims of violence. They see people fighting and they react as if they are in immediate danger. They feel safe with their friends, but their friends suddenly decide to start arguments on the street.

Reading what you wrote, I know you can understand the issue. We are not saying you all are wrong, just that it hurts. Can you understand why it hurts? That’s the only thing that really matters and that I want to discuss right now.

Sorry for hijacking the post, but I don’t think people get why this usage of weird bothers some people. It’s not that we (several kinds of weird we) are not used to be called weird or similar. We grew up and found people who were like us and understood our quirkiness. Weird was the weapon of the bigot and we took that away from them. Until our friends, or community at large, started acting like the people that hurt us in the past. We could deal with the bullies and ignorant using it against us, but this new situation was unexpected.

I don’t like comparing struggles, but I’ll use examples to, maybe, make things clear. Using queer instead of weird would have bothered them the same, although I don’t believe it would have worked the same way, but more people at our side would see the issue. And the next one might be much more personal, but reading “good weird, bad weird” sounds like “good negro, bad negro” to me. You don’t get to judge or qualify me.

Also, even in a discussion that completely accepts and is understanding of people using weird as a weapon to the point of trying to find another word to be used in a positive way, there are comments that invalidate the feelings of those who are affected. If you believe words have power, why can’t you see the collateral damage?

Honestly, I’m trying to endure it until election season ends there in the USA, but I’m starting to feel the need to talk about all the wonderful things I like using the word weird just to counteract the negativity.

I read it. I was familiar with that form of activism, but I don’t agree this is it. I saw all the examples presented as forms of reframing the situations to deflate their original meaning. The author says using weird is non violent, but it’s an attack using a word. The advice is use it because it hurts, not because it makes their ideals less appealing.

edit: Anti-Authoritarian Clowns: A Revolutionary History

I sometimes say to my best friend, among other generally inappropriate things, that something she does is gay, and she does the same to me. It is a private reclamation of the use of the word gay as a slur, but outside any context, to an outside observer, it’s just casual homophobia.

Let me go back to that child. I don’t think they will hear horrible people being called weird and see it as being bad weird. It’s just plain weird. If it’s not being different that’s the issue, but the specific bad behavior, why the focus is on weird? We know words help shape our perception, we fight for those changes. What bothers me is hearing the same harmful words I heard so many times towards me and around me being used by those who seemed to understand how they hurt. I guess it’s similar to the discussion of being okay to attack someone’s looks if they are on the other side.

I’ll be using the information in this site: https://www.verywellhealth.com/coping-mechanisms-5272135

Adaptive coping mechanisms empower you to change a stressful situation or adjust your emotional response to stress.

The point of my post was to say there is a difference between fantasy and plans, and not to judge or act as if fantasies will ever be more than that.

The problem here is fear, not hate. The person that harmed them lives in the same neighborhood and running into them while on the street is a great concern, but my friend could go out in part because of this fantasy. It’s small, stupid and generic. Unhealthy is writing useless in your arm using nail clippers or trying to cut your own wrists.

Thanks for trying to clarify my view, but, for your peace of mind, just try to ignore aggressive comments like this.

From Brazil here. I always thought latinx was for the community inside the US. Latine follows what was decided here as neutral with the -e suffix. Honestly, initially I wouldn’t imagine that x was pronounced and was used only in text.

There was a serious security vulnerability previous to Python 3.11 if I recall correctly. You can use pyenv to manage Python versions though: https://github.com/pyenv/pyenv

You say suicidal thoughts, which I believe you have, but you showed us your depressive thoughts. Some times, it’s not intellectual, it’s just one aspect of your biology you can’t will away. You might need medicine, you’ll definitely need to work on it without knowing if your efforts will get results.

I saw in another comment you talking about the things you love. Choose one and really set aside some time to enjoy it. Create a period of total selfishness. Do something practical.

Intellectually, to quiet the voices that are so negative and justify bad decisions, I suggest you question them, specially when they are absolute. For example, “there’s no time to dedicate to what I love”. Really? No time, zero? Is that the absolute truth? Try to be more truthful. Maybe the time you have is not enough (but again, really?), which doesn’t mean zero time generally. Just being honest about your situation can help change perspectives and stop you believing the lies you tell yourself.

Do you enjoy watching videos? There are some professionals I regularly watch that usually help me see the directions I could go to improve myself. To tell the truth, I’m in a low right now and not being treated, but I wish I were.

I would suggest something like a “good news week”. The last week of every month dedicated to sharing the good content we have stumbled upon or experienced. Something to practice a new behavior and make it stick. I don’t believe the changes will come organically. Or maybe a weekly challenge thread, with some goals to the ones that participate. Share a good memory, uplifting news, something that made you smile…

We have our “c’est moi” in Brazil as well: “eu que agradeço”. Honestly, mmhmm is what seems alien to me.