I just want to say, you’ll be much better off if you forget about the points and try to ignore them. Taking all this to heart with such intensity will only stress you, since you can’t decide how others perceive you and your takes.
Just chill, participate and enjoy. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Anecdotal, and not a woman personally, but I’ve had a similar experience from days long gone; ultimately we ended up trying out different toys and the sucking sort of vibrator with lower settings was what got her past the “block”, but it was via masturbation. We’d only move it to our together time after she got comfortable with the sensation and desensitized, as she described it. In our part of the world the main brand name for this kind of toy was “satisfyer”, not sure if that is global though.
After a while it all just clicked and it became something more familiar to me too, with fingers and tongue (though she did still prefer sucking over licking, which for me as a young man back then was new, but very much a priceless enlightenment and a much appreciated skill I later had time to hone more) ultimately joining in and it all becoming something more familiar to my less experienced younger self.
What I’ve learnt since though, is that everyone is so wildly different, that just simply masturbating together, or learning to, if the other party/parties aren’t experienced there, has been key to lasting mutual satisfaction. And people and their needs/wants change over time, that’s also important to keep in mind. And masturbation is the thing that naturally reflects that. Just talk, talk, talk, and then experiment. Try and keep an open mind, and try to be accommodating. Change and new things take time. Try your best not to get frustrated or load too much expectations into the process. And try and understand the other party/parties are the ones having a harder time coming to terms with the fact that they could not meet your initial expectations. They have a lot of pressure due to this, though it’ll ultimately be mutually beneficial.
Also I’ve noted that it’s so easy to fall prey to thinking that you’re the one giving or somehow “improving” their life here, but this is, in fact, your need that needs to get satisfied. You want her to feel things she does not currently. It’s not a bad thing, this is how life is when you share it with someone, but do not think you are being the giving party here. This is your need, which she either chooses to accommodate and figure out together, or not. And you might best start accepting that this experiment might not lead anywhere, and that you might have to change your expectations accordingly.
As a young(er), morbidly curious and then still fairly naive dumbass, I went and clicked on some questionable link on a Reddit thread, and was introduced to something known as “Funky Town”.
That shit set me straight pretty well, been avoiding everything even remotely suspiciously feeling it might be or explicitly is gore-related, but the imagery alone still haunts me to this day, not to mention all the other stuff like imagining how any of the people involved must feel, both emotionally and physically.
I debated mentioning this by name for a fair bit, but I think this thread is specifically for this kind of thing, so I’ll leave it. Anyone clicking here is expecting horrifying things, so it won’t catch anyone off guard. But I STRONGLY RECOMMEND NOBODY GOES LOOKING FOR THIS SPECIFIC THING. You will not get it out from behind your eyes. Seriously.
As far as I’m aware, most of the “dangerous” lua api (io/network etc) is blocked and only available to mods during the startup phase, and not otherwise during runtime.
But I’m sure there are workarounds. For one, I’ve written mods with rust for it, and you can require and then call any dynamic library through lua, with all of the io and networking you’d want, as long as it is brought in during the init phase. And the mods that do access the “dangerous” api, have to be explicitly given rights to do so (but again, by the server, not the clients) in the config before it works.
It’s not that bad for the most cases, as long as you trust the server. If playing single player, you personally control which mods get the secure environment access, so at that point it’s entirely your own fault, if you get exploited.
I can’t see the benefit, what am I missing?
I would assume that since this whole thing is more or less a result of left-ish policy, and the opponent in the scenario is the far-right platform formerly known as Twitter, lead by the aspiring far-right icon Musk, the right-wingers would more likely opt to complain, cry several rivers and eventually turn to alternatives catered specifically for them (not even sure which ones are still alive after former tweetyplace took the crown) instead.
Haven’t done a vibe check on bluesky, but I assume it almost has to be more tolerant and potentially more progressive-ish than the old nazibirdhouse. If you lean towards the far right, why choose that, if alternatives exist?
Sure. But it might be useful for someone to know this before dedicating time responding genuinely. If it’s still irrelevant, great. If it might change someone’s mind about spending their time, then also great.
Only giving context here. Might be relevant to some.
My reading comprehension is just fine, your lack of capability to understand context and tendency to deal in absolutes and binaries in a world made of wide spectrums, shades of gray and unpredictability, on the other hand, does not seem to pass the smell test.
Either you argue in bad faith, are intentionally a shifting contrarian or just not competent enough to either understand the world or at the very least discuss it with others in a way that makes sense.
Just to throw my two cents in: This user isn’t a genuinely curious ponderer, rather they are a Russian troll trying to fish for arguments they could further use in bad faith to lick Putin’s boot.
Just read through their comment history and make your own mind. This is not genuine and most everyone is just feeding the troll.
The question itself is worth asking though. A lot of good points here, but they’d be better given in good faith for someone genuine.
If you fail to see the analogy then I don’t know what to tell you.
If a murdering horde invades your home, your neighbors, and you face near impossible odds to survive, you can’t just give up. You reach for any opportunities to save your home and family.
Invading a country in order to conquer and exploit it, is entirely different from “invading” a part of a country as a peace talks influence. They have stated zero intent in keeping the land, and even a troll like you must agree that there is a difference between burning your neighbors car for fun or to exploit the grounds, your land, under it, versus burning your neighbors car to make the neighbor stop burning everyone’s car, after you having to watch them burn several neighbors’ cars.
And if you can not understand figure of speech, clear nigh 1:1 analogies, then maybe you should re-evaluate whether you are actually competent or developed enough to take part in actual conversations with words.
Edit: Also, just for fun, what would you do if that rapist with a mental disorder refuses to admit to any raping, even while clearly doing it in front of you, and refuses any help on the grounds that they need none? They call it special penetration operation and keep going. You just let them, or do you forcibly detain them and throw into an appropriate facility to heal them and figure out what’s wrong with them being so delusional, aggressive and unhinged? Just a thought.
And, what? If there’s a house full of rapists nearby, and the rationale to just roll over and get raped is that if you do not, the rapist will just bring over more of his rapist friends, that’s a fucked up situation that I would assume everyone would agree has to be solved and ended.
The very reason to fight against the rapist is to deter the entire house full of rapists to come over for easy prey. What are you talking about? Just let them do it is what you are suggesting? Even if you do see a car ripe for burning which could save you all from getting constantly raped? Of course you try the car. Doing nothing is just letting them do it and keep doing it, despite there being opportunities to, you know, end the entire rape? You’d want the rape to continue?
I feel stupid having to explain this. You can not be serious, I refuse to accept that. Absurd.
Am I? Please enlighten me.
Edit: Ah, the very last paragraph of yours. Right. I was responding to you as a whole, the entire conversation thus far.
If running to start a fire in the rapists car in their own yard helps your family avoid rape, making the rapists run to save their car, then maybe that just might give you time to organize the defense of your own home and other your neighbors.
At least, for now, some of your family and friends are safe.
In the long run, if you conquer the rapists yard as a whole, you can talk trade with him. Maybe they leave you alone if you return their yard.
Yeah I don’t think you can wrap your head around the idea of defending one’s home, family, friends and/or culture. You talk about hiding as if that’s the default if you can’t bribe someone…? To me that just sounds outlandish.
Most want to do something to protect their sisters from rape and their homes from being pillaged to shit. Not run and hide like you seem to view this.
Those who don’t want to fight always have the option to protest and serve an appropriate length of repercussions in prison. And that’s only if you can’t arrange your service to be something non-violent such as homefront logistics or information technology etc. Often you can. And this is if one has ideological or otherwise good reasons not to hold a gun. If one’s just scared, then unfortunately that is not enough of a reason. Everyone is scared when a murdering horde invades. It’s why you do all the things you never wanted to, even your worst enemy, to do. So that others, who can not, may once feel safe again.
Those who run or hide are saying that there is nothing worth protecting and defending, which is fine. Not everyone views their country as a good place. Let the rats hide, I say. If it feels shameful, then maybe they ought to think why that is? At least show some backbone to stand your ground if you refuse to defend your neighbors. Go to the prison. Make a point. That’s honorful at least. Running or hiding? That’s just not humane. That’s leaving others to die.
Anyway, there’s no dimension where wartime order retains the civility and comfortableness of peace time. If rapists and murderers come rampaging in your home, you either fight or you leave your family to their own devices, to be raped and murdered. Remaining peaceful will only result in you watching the horde rape your mother and sisters and children. You are helping them to, in fact.
Once you fight them off, it takes time before all is rebuilt and safe, comfy again. And during that time, when the murderers break in to kill your siblings, mother, father and your children, you don’t get to choose doing nothing. You fight, or you help them by doing nothing. How many will let the rapists get to their business with their family? Not many. You fight. Because you can’t remain peaceful anymore. They already broke in and are rounding up your family, destroying your home. Conscription is just the organized, civil way of going through this process as a community, rather than everyone having to fight alone separately against the horde. It’s not nice, true, but what else is there to do?
Yup, that seam/twist there on the foreground is almost a definitive giveaway
Edit: I mean I guess that especially a rich person could, for some reason, wear a weird ass scarf designed by someone who thinks in a very out-of-the-box way… but which is more likely?
Yours is a somewhat more cynical way of writing it down, but the underlying mindset is one I share.
I prefer to see it as not expecting anything from anyone, rather than expecting them to disappoint you. It’s basically the same, but doesn’t feel as cynical.
It truly changes your life though, no matter how you see it. I can’t remember myself having been, in real life, angry or disappointed in people in great many years. Life is just so much better without those feelings, which seems obvious, but you can’t really emphasis that enough still.
It took me years of self-reflecting and “finding myself” in the process of overcoming a years-long bout of clinical depression. It’s not easy, but I do believe everyone can find that mindset, given enough effort and perseverance. Sisu.
In the very rural areas I would assume there to be ambulance/rescue helicopters, boats and snowmobiles etc that get dispatched. I was born and lived most of my life in a very rural area with the closest actual hospital with proper 24/7 er and more advanced surgery etc capabilities being some 160km away. Roads and road-bound vehicles just aren’t a thing you’d want to use or depend on in an emergency, if you live that rurally. So that’s really not a good argument to make, in my opinion, though maybe if you lived in the US, you wouldn’t have that and if you did, it’d bankrupt you if you made use of it, so you were going to be fucked either way. It’s dangerous to depend on rural roads if your only recourse is speeding. That’s just endangering everyone else too, be it only you as the driver the extra casualty. So the answer isn’t keeping the current dangerous system dangerous, rather maybe reconsider the way emergency response and general welfare and healthcare is organized and structured… if something like this would one day push you guys there, then I’d consider that only good. This is assuming you are from US of course. But I can’t really see any other country lacking basic services and needs like that, if internet and proficiency in English language as well as access to cars is taken as granted, which would mostly rule out third world countries since we are talking about rural areas.
I’m guessing the situation being as dire as it is, as reported lately, they are desperate to use any bit of rhetoric or leverage they can. Being silent doesn’t really help securing the support they so acutely need. Maybe this doesn’t either, but at least they remain in the news cycles around the globe, which helps still.
Well, if they rise to power via legitimate democratic means, then by all means it is what we deserve, and I will either work against it, as an extremist, or move to a less hostile country towards people of my kind, be it political, racial or some other aspect. I’m not saying I’m better than whoever gets labeled an extremist. I am saying that whatever the current political or ideological or whatever climate is, if it is democratic, it is the environ in which I exist, and c’est la vie.
I have a hard time believing a fascist or otherwise extremist powers would take hold of my country, but I’m not naive so as to think it impossible.
I, same as anyone else, simply exist within a complex framework that isn’t under my control.
That being said, I don’t think I hold any “right” or “correct” or necessarily “better” views or ideologies, it just so happens majority right now share that set of beliefs and I happen not to be an extremist in that sense.
At any time I could become one, and I do not think it would be wrong. It would be exactly as “correct”, I would just happen to hold stances against that status quo. That doesn’t change my initial reasoning at all. I have to believe people are mostly rational, emphatic, sensible and good in general, which would translate to my stances having low chances of becoming deemed extremist. If that happens, I would just accept it as entirely understandable, from that point of view, if I was banned from places. And work either against it, or moving my life elsewhere, where there wouldn’t be extremist (from my point of view, not general) powers in rule. And if that was not possible, I’d be imprisoned or killed, which, if happens, was always out of my control, and such is life.
Your argument would require anyone that subscribes to it to believe to be better and more right in the things one beliefs. I do not think so, so I can, with clear mind and consciousness, live with this stance.
Edit: Note that I originally used the word democratic very consciously. Anything outside that bound, would be an entirely different ball game, and that is for wiser and more philosophically minded heads. I consider the realities I live in and which I know, because that is the bound of my experience and understanding. I’m a simple man. But I do hold beliefs, grounded in what I know, and those I like to share if prompted.
Your concern is of course valid, too. Just not something that is necessarily against my stance here. It’s just a hypothetical, which I think I have considered enough to still stand this ground.
Edit2: to answer your question, it would play by the same rule, if they banned me, and I would understand it for the same reasons I understand it now. I wouldn’t agree with it, is the difference, but that doesn’t change the logic of it.
Of course they would ban me, if most of the people thought I was an extremist. I wouldn’t think it my privilege in that scenario to be able to share my extremist views. I would find other channels or fight against that system, or just move to a better suited environment. But I would not think it unfair from a general view, it’s exactly as understandable as the Bolsonaros or whoevers of the world now being banned.
I think most clients should implement some kind of logic to remove bot comments form the comment counts. AFAIK, lemmy already has a feature to distinguish bots(?), so it should probably should be possible to at least suggest some easy enough api for that if none exist currently.
I’m out of touch here, what happened? No longer use it, but have some previously stored data there, should I do a purge? Is it dead or did they transition to something profit-driven and questionable?