primscha

I got my first ex lol.

It’s alright— it was a relationship where we both understood the feelings are new and we’re both inexperienced, but in retrospect all communication fell from there lol. Aaand I think it’s still falling.

So. (ᵒ ᵕ ᵒ٥)ゞ Let’s see how much of it can actually be settled…

Otherwise life has been a piece of shit because of burnout. So much is happening around me that I know I’m succeeding at, but I’m having a hard time acknowledging my success. The fear and exhaustion is seeping in. I’m hoping I can recover soon! …Because a lot feels like it’s at stake. (☍◡⁰)

Good luck to everyone 🫡

Going back to the dorms on Friday. It’s a yay/nay situation. Love my friends there. Hate the amount of the work that has to get done. But gotta think on the positive end to keep me going. (Or just… think less to make it easier on the mind lol.)

Today I went to an awesome local coffee shop/bookstore. It’s so beautifully decorated with unique displays and niche items. It captured a very cottage core theme while also having a surprisingly wide variety of books. God I’m gonna miss that place. I really want to go back. Has everything I want in a bookstore… There’s a whole bookshelf filled with architecture and graphic design books I want to get.

Then I got to go to this cute little park/outlet. I’m not sure how to describe it— it’s a small area with a treehouse playground that’s walled off. And I got to see a fire show of sorts. It’s been a fun, exhausting day. Nice way to end my summer break.

Welp. I got into my design program. It was roughly a 50% chance of getting in so I’m glad. It’s just bittersweet since half of my class isn’t in the BFA.

Honestly thought I’d feel more happy about it, but I guess it’s hard when you’ve exhausted yourself… So now that spring break is happening, I’m giving myself a couple days to unwind and then I’ll start moving ahead with work.

Also trying a dating app. Which sucks. We’ll see if it ends up being a good or bad thing. But for now… I don’t think I’m going to engage in it that much. Feels weird.

Still in uni, got a snow day. It was a nice change of pace since this month is gonna drive me crazy. I had to pull back from a couple activities because the graphic design portfolio admission deadline is in the beginning of March. (One activity was a part time job I really like— which is an ouch. But I’ll hopefully be able to pick it up again once this is all over, based on my supervisor…) The other one is my vice president position at a community service club, but the term is ending in a month, so it’s perfect timing.

Speaking of clubs, I’ve been trying to revive the AIGA club at my school, and we voted on board today. I became president through a unanimous vote. (☍◡⁰) it was not my intention at first, but no one was raising their hand to take the role… And even the faculty advisor said she was gonna call out my name if I didn’t raise my hand lol. I think I maybe, just maybe made a good impression since I’ve been creating the building blocks. And I was too dumb to realize that ppl would want me to lead since I was… already leading, I guess. 🫠 Haha whoops.

But I’m sure it’ll pay off. I’m a little nervous but also excited! Life is crazy right now but I hope everything ends well! (Because it would be even more awkward to not get into the design program when I’m the president of the design club ._.)

I finally have a chance to breathe from my chaotic semester. At the same time, I worry that I won’t have enough time to recover because certain responsibilities are time sensitive. And my family environment isn’t the best…

There’s one task that really bugs me: future roommates want to move out of the dorms before the next semester starts, and this was ‘decided’ on around finals week. Plus we apartment hunted for like… less than a week, around finals week.

The old plan was to move around the end of the school year, which would’ve given us time to research everything we need to know, search for places, and plan move in. (And the old idea was that I only had one roommate, not two.)

This rushing is all due to a shitty dorm situation my second roommate is in, but… It’s so rushed that I don’t even know what to say. I don’t want to risk something worse happening. I feel like there are so many unknown variables. We’re planning a discussion with each other and each other’s parents at some point this break, so I’m honestly hoping we don’t move out soon unless we’re mostly sure things will work out.

…Overall though, I’m just trying not to think. My body is exhausted; my brain is drained. I just wanna relax, and I haven’t registered that Christmas is soon. I’m not in the holiday mood at all.

At least I get to pet my dog. He’s so fluffy and floofy.

I went out with friends and realized the eclipse was happening lol. So we hung out with a random group of people for a bit and got some photos.

Other than that, I’ve been burning out. Somehow the past weekend helped me recover in spite of it being busy then too. So I dunno. Life’s weird with it’s random issues and solutions. I’m definitely tired though. As much as I like being at uni, I want a break. I’m worried I’ll burn out again… But we’ll see.

In other news, I’m hungry. I’m craving desserts. And I miss my dog.

I’m a busy bee. Last week was my club’s welcome week, so I’m behind on some of my assignments. I also have a midterm and a test this week. I lost track of those dates because I’ve been busy planning for my club this month and for next month… My club schedule is more organized than my school schedule. Kinda awkward.

Also working my part-time job. It’s been fun, but now that one person is leaving, I know that I’ll have more responsibilities given to me. We only have five people on the team— two seniors, one intern, and two student workers— so it can be rough. I’m still learning how to navigate the CMS with my fellow student worker, so it’ll be interesting to see what new duties I’ll have.

Overall, not a bad week? I just know it’ll be an exhausting one. (Like last week.) ._. Hope the workload gets lighter, but I think I’ll have to wait for a holiday break for that to happen.

I forgot about this thread because of how busy the week has been. It feels like this week has been a month. I had to guide eight new students around campus while keeping up with the new changes in a tight schedule. They were a chaotic bunch, but fortunately pretty responsible. I felt sorry for some others because their mentees were troublemakers or just dramatic.

I’m never doing this again lol. It’s a nice experience to have once, but I don’t like how I get a random group of people that are possibly good or bad. Yesterday I was recuperating from the madness. Today, I think I’ll need to face some issues I put aside for this job. But man, I’m so sleepy.

Usually it’s late August/early September for me. I’m going back early because I got into a program to help mentor the first years. Basically they get to start a week earlier to get accustomed to uni and I get to start a week before they do for my in-person training.

Taking as many naps as possible before going back to university.

I’ll have to go back soon and I have mixed feelings about it. I am excited, I’m just also doing my best not to let my worries get to me.

This weekend I gotta plan my goals for this year. I’m contemplating studying abroad, getting an internship, or both. I’ll also be hanging out with my siblings before I leave. And packing.