I feel lost sometimes. I’m an ethnic minority in s country I consider my home, and in recent years I’ve seen conflicts surge especially with the rise of outspoken xenophobia paired with economic troubles. I thought I could change this when I was in my twenties. I got involved with migrants rights organizations. I volunteered and taught classes. I met people and tried to talk about the topic. I thought I was helping a good cause, that it should count for something.
Then I got into my thirties. My parents are showing health troubles. Our family business isn’t doing great. I had no savings. I had to switch careers since teaching wasn’t paying enough, and guess what happens to a decade of experience as teacher/volunteer/freelancer when I apply for entry level jobs requiring 3+ years of experience in a godforsaken yet another JS library doing the same crap? Tossed into the bin.
I gave up. People were ignorant at best and venomous at worst. The pandemics only made things worse. Me and my parents were called names, told to go back to $country, that we were stealing money meant for neighbors when I was simply applying for finantial aid.
My acquaintances (or friends) don’t share the threat I perceive. I was told to simply stop bothering or to “calm down”. When I wanted to vent about racist treatment during a job interview, their collective response was “how funny that must have been”. I wasn’t making a joke. I just learned not to react. But it still hurts.
I just want to distance myself from all of it. I accepted a job offer paying less than expected after a year of searching. Better than nothing, but I can’t be stuck in this job forever, I need more. I need to take my parents out of this place. Make them finally have a livable environment instead of being made fun of simply because they’re crossing the street or doing something mundane. We’re not robots that make your chow mein. We’re not spreading covid just by existing. We’re not your enemy. We’re your neighbors.
My acquaintances (or friends)…
At some point you’ll need to ditch those “friends.” Real friends do not behave like that. Real friends will genuinely listen to you. That is part of the definition of being a true friend, not my expressed opinion.
Not sure where you’re currently living as you didn’t say, but where I am (US) the conservative chunk of the nation is generally hostile toward any type of minority and will happily spread lies about them. Some “progressives” will as well, honestly some are progressive in name only and are just as bad. As an LGBTQ person I’ve had to cut people out of my life because they chose that cult of intolerance over being able to be a fucking human and listen to people’s problems.
Difference is I have the luxury of being able to hide that status at work by not being visibly out. I know things would be much harder if I wasn’t able to mask my status. So, I know it doesn’t fix anything, but I’m really sorry that people treat you that way.
Yes… I guess you are right. However, they were immature college kids when that talk happened and have since matured somewhat. I hope it doesn’t happen again. Thank you for the advice.
I’m sorry about being vague about myself. I’m worried of being identified online.
No, I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to make it sound like being vague was a bad thing. I just wanted to make it clear that I can only speak to my perspective. It is 100% fine to be worried about being identified online.
First, I believe that @[email protected] provided some good thoughts.
That being said, I believe that being heard is important here. I hear you and others do as well.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all your troubles disappear.
Take care and feel free to share more in the future.
I wish it just could take out the financial or health worries away, but it’s too much to ask these days. Thank you stranger.
I am very sorry to read about your troubles. I have similar struggles, but not because of race. Rather, it’s because of disabilities that are invisible to others but have profoundly affected my ability to support myself and my wife. People are pretty terrible a lot of the time, and those people tend to stand out more as they like to make themselves loud in their terribleness. Good people really are everywhere, but I think they tend to be less visible and quieter.
I was unemployed for 2.5+ years due to health issues, so I also spent a full year looking for decent work only to be forced to accept less money than I’m worth (because of prior work history in the same industry, not because I think I’m special or whatever).
That experience really affected my self worth for a while. It feels degrading to be treated like you’re a less-than-acceptable candidate because of something that isn’t your fault and you cannot change.
I accept you as my sibling in suffering, and I wish you the best. Hopefully your situation will change for the better. Changing careers is hard enough without extra discrimination on top!
2.5+ years. I only spent like a year and it was horrible enough. We will get through this. A place that values us and also pays a dignified amount instead of chump changes.
All we can do is keep trying to move forward.
