All we can do is keep trying to move forward.

I am very sorry to read about your troubles. I have similar struggles, but not because of race. Rather, it’s because of disabilities that are invisible to others but have profoundly affected my ability to support myself and my wife. People are pretty terrible a lot of the time, and those people tend to stand out more as they like to make themselves loud in their terribleness. Good people really are everywhere, but I think they tend to be less visible and quieter.

I was unemployed for 2.5+ years due to health issues, so I also spent a full year looking for decent work only to be forced to accept less money than I’m worth (because of prior work history in the same industry, not because I think I’m special or whatever).

That experience really affected my self worth for a while. It feels degrading to be treated like you’re a less-than-acceptable candidate because of something that isn’t your fault and you cannot change.

I accept you as my sibling in suffering, and I wish you the best. Hopefully your situation will change for the better. Changing careers is hard enough without extra discrimination on top!

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie

You too? I started with Android 1.5 (or whatever the first Motorola Droid shipped with). At that time, Android felt so much closer to my OS of choice - a Linux distro - that I was excited to own a Google phone.

Over time I’ve been less than enthusiastic about what each iteration of the OS brings. Now that it’s near impossible to have root and not have to play Whack A Mole with hiding that root access from specific apps (never mind finding phones where you can unlock the bootloader), I’m out. Google is making it impossible to use your phone the way you want. Pixel phones aren’t attractive to me based on really spotty history.

Linux phones just aren’t there yet. I’ve owned a couple of Pinephones, but I want more from them than they can currently offer.

That leaves Apple. They have their issues, sure, but if I can’t have root control of my phone without massive hassle, then I might as well have a more polished experience. I’m envious of the free features my wife gets on her 2nd gen SE.

Try this: handwrite your negative thoughts out. Then try to prove to yourself why the feeling isn’t true. Again, write that out. Now tear up the paper and get rid of it. Don’t keep a journal of it.

You would be stunned how much this helps. I got this technique from a doctor who wrote a book about living with what he calls neuropathic disorder (in my case chronic pain). In the book he describes how we can easily make ourhealth worse through negative thoughts. It’s very possible for bad feelings to cause physical pain because the two share the same neural pathways, so it’s critically important not to let your emotions get the better of you.

The book is called Back In Control (the author is a back surgeon). It’s a good read for anyone with chronic illnesses, or even just for those who want to explore how to better control their emotions and live healthier.