Personal background: I strongly feel just about everyone grows up and has something shitty about them. I know growing up I definitely thought and said some less-than-ideal jokes about women, minorities, etc. And while some of that was the proverbial ‘the times’, and some was growing up in a sheltered hyper Christian southern American conservative situation, I regret my actions and am happy I grew past that. And I do think people, especially younger, can grow past their shittiness, especially with the help of others, which was true for me too… When I got my first W2 job a superior I looked up to helped mold me into a better person by calling me out on things and modeling a better behavior.

Current situation: I’m now the supervisor position, have been for a decade (retail is a trap) and I’ve taken that to heart, calling out jokes that aren’t funny, etc. But recently we hired a new kid who acts really incel-ish, and who apparently has attached himself to me instantly. I’ve had moderate success so far just telling him his ‘lol women dumb’ jokes aren’t funny, and modeling how working with women is… normal? Anyways, I don’t wanna screw this up so do y’all have any suggestions for me to help keep him from going down an unfortunate path? I know at the end of the day I’m not responsible for others’ routes in life, but I feel we should all do our parts.

  • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Encouraging them to seek out a female friend isn’t using the seeked out person as a lesson. What an weird way to interpret that.

    • the_itsb (she/her)@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      It sounds like you’ve never had the experience of being the woman used as a lesson, and I’m really glad for you. I’m sorry you think my lived experience is weird! Blessed be.

        • myfavouritename@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          I feel this comment is brushing off the important point the commentator above is making. I understand that you wanted to clarify or defend your original statement. But if you don’t respond appropriately to what the person you’re talking to has said, you’re not really having a conversation. Instead you’re just talking at someone.

            • Primarily0617@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              would you want to have an extended conversation with some weird incel?

              obviously not

              so would you want somebody pointing you out to that incel as a great person to have an extended conversation with?

              again, obviously not

              • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                You guys are trying so hard to make it out to be a bad thing to tell someone they should try to talk to someone. Be normal, like wtf. Communication is not this complicated. Do you guys ever leave the house??

    • ɠισƚԋҽϝʅσɯ@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      You gotta admit, you did specify female coworker. You sound well intentioned but I cant say your plan is not without its issues

    • fuzzywolf23@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      You should really have the decency to contemplate why a woman would not want that before you tell her she’s wrong for not wanting it.

      • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Don’t know why you think I didn’t. I work with people and have a lot of girl friends. I know very well how they think and empathize well. I’m responding to a random username who’s likely perpetually online so I don’t exactly value their opinion.

        You also have no idea who I am or my experiences before you assume I’m wrong, just like you say I am doing to them.

        • fuzzywolf23@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          All I know about you is this conversation, and your response here sounds a lot like “I’m not sexist, I have women friends”.

          • 👁️👄👁️@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Wow now I’m apparently sexist for disagreeing with you. Maybe you should have the decency to contemplate why anyone claiming to be female online must be automatically right. That’s pretty sexist to tie truth to gender. You know literally nothing about me, so don’t draw any conclusions.

            • Primarily0617@kbin.social
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              1 year ago

              Maybe you should have the decency to contemplate why anyone claiming to be female online must be automatically right. That’s pretty sexist to tie truth to gender. You know literally nothing about me, so don’t draw any conclusions.

              what the fuck are you talking about

              you said a dumb thing online and people are calling you out on it

              there’s nothing more to it than that

                • Primarily0617@kbin.social
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                  1 year ago

                  my sweet baby boyo please stop doing backflips to try and frame this as if you’re the normal one just to protect your ego

                  think of somebody in your life that you wouldn’t want to have an extended conversation with

                  there’s obviously somebody, because everybody has somebody

                  now imagine if a third party advised that somebody to deliberately try to have a painfully extended conversation with you

                  would you be happy with that third party?