we’re so back (but i will be making a separate post for my circumstances)

  • lemillionsocks@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I won a bid on a house, finally WON a bid, and signed the paperwork and house went into pending.

    But then because the seller realtor made a “mistake” and they managed to get another bid before we could get attorney approval letters filled out. So suddenly another offer came through and the seller realtor had a responsibility “in the interest of fairness” to present this offer even though contracts were already signed. In the interest of fairness they gave us the opportunity to outbid this offer, but of course they wouldnt tell us what that offer was to get an opportunity to potentially match it or just give up.

    And in 3 fun days I got the ups and downs of anticipation of getting an answer, the emotional high of finally winning a bid and getting a house, the hype from planning inspection dates and imaging where I can go from house and how I can make it my own, the excitement and joy in telling the people, then the dread of not knowing if I’ll be able to keep the house, and finally the anger and sadness from having this fucking shark take my house away right out of my hands.

    I’m staying positive I know we’ll find something, but this market is killing me.

    • joeross.me@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      even though contracts were already signed

      I don’t know what jurisdiction you’re in, and even though I’m a lawyer, I’m not your lawyer, and this isn’t legal advice, and I have never seen your contract,

      buuut…

      I would get some legal advice from a real estate or professional negligence lawyer in your jurisdiction if I were you. That situation has the stink of contract breach / negligent realtor all over it.

      • lemillionsocks@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Technically we still have a few days signing to get the attorney approval or rejection letter sent out. All theyre doing is having their attorney issue the rejection letter. So there really isnt much we can do on our end.

        We could try and force them to honor to contract or at least get some compensation for the shady dealings, but it wouldnt be worth the cost or energy, especially when it’s unlikely to yield any fruit.

        All I can do is hope karma gets them, and that the same kind of shady buyer that does stuff like this is going to be a predator when it comes to negotiating after inspection is done. “based on insert typical stuff I think Im going to have to drop my offer to 10k under asking price”.

        I will keep an eye on this deal to see how things roll, and I will try to resist the urge to egg the house on the regular.

    • Schedar@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      House buying is the absolute worst. I hate it so much…

      You have to decide so much, on so little information and time. Hell you can spend longer researching a cheap kitchen appliance than a house.

      Even when it’s all sorted it’s not really… not until you finally have the keys.

      The only way I could be stay sane was shifting my way of thinking… eventually you will find your home and before long you’ll be making memories in it and will absolutely love your house. Every house you missed on was really a good thing in the end as it will lead you to that one house, your proper home.

      • lemillionsocks@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Oh yeah, Im staying positive. I liked the area the house was in, and I think the house itself had a lot to offer, but it wasnt special and there are other houses. I’ll find something better in the meantime though I deeply dislike having to get back into the grind.

  • Arctic@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Pretty awful. Work sucks and I had to put my cat down on Friday. She was my best friend. I was okay over the weekend but I am increasingly lonely and heartachey.

    • fuzzywolf23@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      Grief comes in waves and you can never predict when one will hit. I lost my cat of 15 years a couple months ago and I still swear I hear his meow sometimes

    • whelmer@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      I lost my kitty last year. Was very close to her as well. I don’t believe in ghosts but I think her ghost visited me in a dream shortly after she died. I’ll miss her forever.

  • RiikkaTheIcePrincess@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Very weird. I keep doing things and not being quite sure who’s doing them. Having trouble not feeling super alone and isolated but also having trouble feeling like I’m me so it’s kinda better in a weird way? Very strange. … Kinda just wanted to tell somecritter about that, I guess 🤷‍♀

    I hope it’s okay if I pretend to bee a beehawer for a sec <.< I figure I kinda am in spirit, so maybe it’s okay? Though lately Idunno if I’m me so who knows. wobbles awkwardly

    • jwhardcastle@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      Thank you for sharing. I don’t have any special pearls of wisdom, except to say that I see you, you are not alone.

      If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. I’m sure the same is true for many folks on this big, federated universe.

      And if you don’t have someone to talk to in your world offline, there are plenty of resources for folks who would be happy to listen if you care to share more.

      Hang in there!

  • jokerwing@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Haven’t posted on Lemmy before. Excited to be in a small queer community. This week: made some fun art with my partner, organized back if house at a nonprofit, had great coffee, and enjoyed nature

  • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Watching the drama unfold on lemmy.world and all the freeze peach warriors going ape shit over there has me grateful for this little corner.

    • rar@discuss.online
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      1 year ago

      It’s like watching the history of internet filesharing and warez from the 90s on a speedrun. LW happened to be the most populous instance by chance, and the nature of federated network means the admins can get legally held liable for contents they didn’t choose nor wanted to host, because all it takes is another federated server going rogue.

      Sure, freedom of speech is fundamental. But it’s a hard place between “saving yourself from financial and legal troubles” and “betraying the (vaguely defined) principles”. When the crowd is shouting “freedom of speech”, they don’t just want a nice speech for an announcement; they want the admins become a martyr for the cause. And shit, what for? For some vague internet fame?

      Had lemmy.ml become the largest instance, we would have potentially watched this unfold on lemmy devs themselves. Knowing their political affiliations, it might have turned into a different scenario. Legal threats might have been rebutted in an open way that even pleased the “freeze peach” crowd despite the “tankie” accusations. Perhaps all the extra pressure and legal threats meant Lemmy development come to a halt and slowly decline. But no one knows, really.

      I don’t condone nor condemn LW or its staff. I wish they didn’t have to carry the baggage of becoming the guinea pig of this ongoing experiment.

      • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        I think people also for some reason think they are entitled to free speech, a.k.a. they can do whatever they want, and virtually any space they please. All it tells me is they lack a fundamental grasp of what the first amendment actually is and what it guarantees. I think they also forget the Internet operates outside of the US. 

        • Elise@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          I agree however I’d like to add that I do see piracy as being, at least partially, a social movement. Perhaps it isn’t apparent to everyone, or right now, and maybe it’ll never become anything, but still we should respect that there are different points of view on topics such as copyright. So I understand when people call it censoring when they have that point of view.

          • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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            1 year ago

            I just think vague gestures (not your doing) to someone’s personal interpretation of what free-speech is, which is generally “I should suffer no consequences for anything I say or do,“ hits a wall when it comes to asking somebody to host conversations and possible links to pirated content on their own servers. Especially when they are doing it on their own dime as a hobby and don’t have a legal team to protect them from the feds.

            • Elise@beehaw.org
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              Yap it’s really up to the host to decide I think. And also there’s a huge difference between talking about piracy and actively sharing links.

              • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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                Yeah I just can’t imagine running an instance. Minimum hundred dollars a month so I can constantly police content just to make sure people aren’t sharing CP or pirated content or otherwise illegal content all on my storage.

                • Elise@beehaw.org
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                  1 year ago

                  That’s quite a lot of money. Then you’d have enough users to recruit some moderators.

    • coyotino [he/him]@beehaw.org
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      care to explain that one? I haven’t done much venturing in lemmy outside of our instance here, curious what the drama is?

      • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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        They banned some piracy communities citing they don’t want to be liable (seems reasonable to me but not sure how much merit there is there). Now people are screaming “censorship.”

        • coyotino [he/him]@beehaw.org
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          big yikes. i mean i’m no stranger to piracy communities but like…couldn’t they just take the respective communities and spin up their own lemmy server somewhere else where the lemmy.world admins have no power? isn’t that the point of this whole fediverse thing?

          • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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            Having the communities removed does not prevent them from starting their own instance. They weren’t even being hosted on Lemmy.world to begin with, so nothing has changed for them other than unmitigated posting/presence on world’s instance. Any user who wants to participate in those communities still can. Nothing is stopping them.

              • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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                I just think there is so much drama happening because people don’t understand the fediverse yet combined with this incessant need to catch “power tripping mods” on forums. Because something sounds bad and some alt-right troll rolls in stirring the pot, people suddenly start crying “FREE SPEECH!” when the content they want to see and comment on is just one keyboard stroke away.

      • acastcandream@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        So right now you are on a specific instance of lemmy or Kbin or whatever your preferred fediverse system is. Lemmy.world is an instance. Beehaw.org is a lemmy instance. Users can create accounts on both and can browse the content of the other instances, unless the instance they are on (let’s say 1) defederates from the other (2). Then you cant browse the other instance(2) from within the one (1) that chose to defederate. The content from 2 doesn’t appear anymore on 1. But there’s nothing stopping you from browsing either.

  • CaptainPike@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Ready to jump off of a fucking cliff.

    • Last week, Roommate loses extraordinary amount of money to a scammer. We ended up behind on rent and were served an eviction notice. Dealing with a rent bank now.

    • Last week is also my 31st birthday and I end up having a gout flare up. Because you know. That’s fun. I usually have to walk with a cane because of a worthless knee but now I get to add a worthless foot on the other leg so yay.

    • Couldn’t afford food or medication or really anything. Not as much of a problem at the moment but the stress still exists and having to plan for next month when the same situation is likely going to happen.

    • This morning I got off the toilet and put pressure on the wrong part of my foot. Instant agony and I shift balance to the other foot but it’s not in a position to support my weight. Grab for something to steady myself and all I grab is the toilet seat which gets part of it ripped off of the toilet. So now I have to buy a fucking toilet seat as well. I am hobbling right now. It takes me 30 seconds to move to the bathroom which is next door to my bedroom. Normally that’s like… 3 seconds. So god knows when i’ll be able to go out and get a toilet seat. So that’s gonna end up with me positioned weirdly for the next week until this dies down.

    • New chest pain that is not fun and god knows what the fuck is happening there but I can’t see a doctor about it anytime soon. It’s not 911 level of emergency. It’s more of a nagging thing that comes and goes and feels muscular but still.

    • What is scary is heart has been doing a thing. Beating it’s own samba every now and again.

    • I wrote myself into a corner with my DnD campaign and now I don’t know what the fuck to do. We have a session tonight which will be finishing up a oneshot from before but still. I don’t know what i’m gonna do and I can’t think straight.

    Please someone put me out of my misery.

      • CaptainPike@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Unfortunately I cannot afford it or leave the house to even buy it in the first place. Walking is essentially out. It feels like my foot is going to pop it’s so swollen.

        • ɔiƚoxɘup@beehaw.org
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          I’m not sure what to say. This is what Dr. GPT says:

          "If you don’t have access to a doctor due to financial constraints, there are still some steps you can take to manage gout:

          1. Dietary Changes: Modify your diet to include foods that are low in purines, as high purine intake can contribute to gout. Avoid or limit organ meats, shellfish, and alcohol. Consume plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.

          2. Hydration: Staying hydrated helps to flush out excess uric acid from your body. Drink plenty of water throughout the day.

          3. Weight Management: Maintaining a healthy weight can reduce the risk of gout flare-ups. Losing weight if you’re overweight can help manage gout symptoms.

          4. Home Remedies: Some natural remedies like cherry juice, ginger, and turmeric have been suggested to have anti-inflammatory properties that might offer relief. However, their effectiveness varies among individuals.

          5. Over-the-Counter Medications: Non-prescription pain relievers like ibuprofen or naproxen may help alleviate pain and inflammation. Always follow the recommended dosages and consult the package instructions.

          6. Lifestyle Changes: Avoid alcohol and limit consumption of sugary beverages, as they can exacerbate gout symptoms.

          7. Rest and Elevation: Resting the affected joint and elevating it can help reduce pain and swelling during a gout flare-up.

          Remember, while these steps might provide some relief, they are not a substitute for professional medical advice. If your symptoms worsen or become unbearable, it’s important to find a way to consult a healthcare professional, even if it means seeking out free or low-cost clinics, community health centers, or government health services in your area."

          Maybe there are some low cost clinics in town.

  • Gaywallet (they/it)@beehaw.org
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    My nesting partner played outside lands on Sunday and I’ve been busy getting ready for a planned surgery next week which will have me out of office for a bit on recovery so I’m notably exhausted today. While life has been weird and rocky lately, my spirits are actually quite high at this point in time. I’m enjoying life, and looking forward to having some time off work to spin up some projects and spend time and socialize with my loved ones more 😄

  • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
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    I’ve been attempting to make youtube videos for the first time. I realized there was a topic surrounding the new zelda game that hadn’t been covered yet so I am doing finishing touches on that. But its made me want to make more videos.

    I’m really struggling to come up with a core theme or topic for my channel. I’m thinking of making some kind of video game / anime / Manga type content. The tricky part is I don’t want to do just reviews and I don’t want to make just gameplay or whatever either. I was thinking of talking about certain topics. The idea seems really vague though. I’m also trying to not get discouraged before I even start.

    But realistically I know that section of youtube is pretty saturated. So I know that whatever I make needs to be solid otherwise nobody will want to watch it lol.

    I’ve been watching creators for over a decade now. I have a general idea of what makes good content and I’ve been doing more specific research too. But I realize at some point t I just need to start publishing stuff

    • coyotino [he/him]@beehaw.org
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      best of luck! i can’t imagine trying to break into that space now. Honestly though, i feel like the YouTube game is aged enough that now there is always a certain percentage of users that are “in between” favorite channels, and that creates room for people like you to become their new favorite channel. I know for me personally, I used to watch a lot of Game Grumps, then I stopped with that once their politics started to bother me (the grooming allegations didn’t help either). Then I watched a lot of Giant Bomb, and then a bunch of their core crew left and the content changed so i stopped watching that.

      At each of these points i was a very “capturable” user, so idk. I think there’s always a chunk of users like that these days, so don’t feel like no one will care about your stuff, even if the space is saturated. “Saturation” is not a permanent state.

      • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
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        Thanks for the encouragement! Yeah I’m intimidated but I figure the worst that can happen is that I learn some new skills. So I figure it can’t hurt to try haha.

        Your thoughts on saturation are actually very similar to what I was thinking about too. Some of the channels that I started watching a lot only started in 2015 or 2017. So I figure it’s worth a shot if I put some effort and elbow grease into it

      • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
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        Sure! I don’t think it’s anything too special to be honest. I found that nobody had covered what all the kilton statues looked like, so I went and gathered them all in one place so someone could look them up.

        I’m still learning, but it was a good way to take those first steps. If you have any feedback I would love to hear it! I think for my next video I want to work on my audio levels more and figure out how to make my voice sound better.

        https://youtu.be/ZGirEb9WjF0

    • LallyLuckFarm@beehaw.org
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      I struggle with making videos sometimes too, even though we have a pretty clear vision for our channel. I encourage you to put your stuff out there! You’ll find people who’d like to have those conversations with you and that can help to further define your content. It’s daunting for sure, but it’s been rewarding to build and find community by sharing what we’re passionate about. For us, it’s mostly garden related but there’s always an opportunity to show other aspects of who you are. If you’re worried about a theme, consider that your thoughtful take and genuine interest will be enough to bring folks to you, whatever topic you might decide to pour yourself into.

      • Megaman_EXE@beehaw.org
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        Thank you so much for the advice :) I’m hoping I can make something that others can enjoy as much as I enjoy making it

  • sub_o@beehaw.org
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    Was at the hospital earlier, my left foot was swollen until I couldn’t walk. Hyperuricimea (high uric acid leve) was the cause. Much better now, don’t worry.

  • wildeaboutoskar@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    Welcome back!

    I’m on holiday at the Edinburgh fringe festival. Had like an hour’s sleep but seen some great comedy already today. Treated myself to mussels and ice cream (not together) for dinner, looking forward to passing out at my hotel. Walked miles today which was much needed exercise even if my feet hurt!

    Long day full of shows tomorrow, can’t wait. Hardest thing will be pacing myself caffeine and alcohol wise. I’m not good at staying out all day

    • liv@beehaw.org
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      That sounds so fun! Are you going to write some reviews /comments about the shows?

        • liv@beehaw.org
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          Thanks! Not sure if I can view that from here but I have a mastodon account I could probably dust off!

        • neamhsplach@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          Agreed. Plus you can’t see how much butter is in the sauce when someone else prepares it! Pure musselly bliss

          • skeletorfw@beehaw.org
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            1 year ago

            So. Much. Butter… And Cream (used to be one of our best selling items where I worked). Butter truly is the secret to why restaurant food tastes just so good!

  • YourHeroes4Ghosts@beehaw.org
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    Still trying to come to terms with my new CPAP. I worked out a few bugs only to develop new ones. According to my smartwatch I’m still not staying in deep sleep for more than a minute or two at a time, and I’m absolutely exhausted. I’m hoping that it’s just that the CPAP works as intended but I’m not used to it yet, because I’m not going to get any help from the ResMed drone who gave it to me. I’m relying on YouTube for advice, which has been both helpful and worrying- my device is apparently an APAP and many of the YouTube experts hate them and even call them dangerous.

    I also got a stomach virus late last week, which I’m still getting over, which isn’t conducive to good sleep. I had a massive fight with my adult son the day before I got sick, and then spent the weekend melting down from the sheer overwhelm of the exhaustion, illness, and emotional crap. I’ve been locked in my room since last Thursday and I’m not sure when it’ll be safe to emerge.

  • liv@beehaw.org
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    Not sure yet. I had the revelation that I struggle to set boundaries when I’m impaired by illness symptoms, though.

    I have this friend that rang me up last night for advice on how she could set boundaries and after a 40 minute conversation about her life I realised I had been unable to take my own advice and set a limit on how much time I was willing to devote to that conversation.

  • hazel 🤷🏻‍♀️🏳️‍🌈@beehaw.org
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    My roomie wants to try living alone and our lease ends in a couple months. I’m really tired of paying my landlord’s mortgage so I’m considering buying a decent looking prefab for 120k. I’m 28 and haven’t even bought a car much less a house. But I can’t stand renting and burning another 70k. It’s ridiculous.